by Paul White

Posted on Thursday, October 07, 2004 - 8:08 pm:

Jody, right now even my own son seems to "disown me". I know that I am forgiven, by my Wonderful Heavenly Father. Christian Fellowship, and a close relationship with the Lord is all that matters now. I may not have long to live; but I know that I can continue to pray for the Unity of the Holy Spirit. Yours in Christ, Paul White

Posted on Thursday, October 07, 2004 - 8:56 pm:

My divorce was initiated by Rachel over a year ago in August, on the grounds of Adultery.

I have been a very bitter person. Just the last year I have endeavored to apply all of the "head knowledge", to my heart. (Bitter against Rachel, and her Dad for incest and her unforgiveness, and even Brother Maurice Johnson for not ever getting to the bottom of my sister's problems, and then our horrible marriage; I then went to partying and alcohol to escape and attempt to drown guilt).

My brother Weyman Zelder has spent countless hours trying to help me with my sin and selfishness (and because of his closeness to family, I was also bitter against him; His two sons, Don and Gary, married my two daughters Melanie and Cynthia). My son Stephen married Tom Collins daughter, Jo Ellen.

I certainly miss my old friends, Bill Poulter, Jim Langford, and my brother James, etc. But life is too short and precious to get too involved in these conflicts. I always hated the long and numerous men's meetings, and didn't understand all of what was going on, until now. Satan had His way!

It just seems that, if we simply apply John 15:12 and 17:23 "God's Unconditional Love", we could all live in peace, like we will in eternity.

Rachel and I both missed out on everything beautiful in a Christian marriage (her stubborn will and deep-seated anger). Robert came in a bit too late with his helpful messages on sexual relationships, etc., which are right on; and in my next relationship, I plan to apply these principles). I would love to have a peaceful relationship with my family. (Please find a helpful full explanation, a well-written review of our lives, read by Weyman to the Christian assembly a few months ago).

I do know this: "where two or more are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst". This may be my only input here. I am 64; and most of the men in my generations died before my age. I shall be praying for the Unity of the Spirit, and the Bond of Peace.

Paul E. White

e:mail received 10/30/2004

Your e-mail has alread sparked a renew interest in sorting out all of the hidden complexes and bitterness of the past.  I need to understand a little better, so that I can have a renewed communication with my brother James.
This is quite a relief!  I don't believe a need to live in fear of who I talk to or fellowship with; or even brainwashing of not voting, etc.
I am in a precarious predicament with my son and daughters, though, because all three married minister's children (Stephen married a "basket case",  the untrained daughter of Tom Collins.  (Now look where Tom's son is -- I thought he was two-faced, anyway; and my wife had given him the key to our house, when he moved out here last year or so.)
You will enjoy meeting Patty; she is a joyful person.  And I need to be careful that I do not confuse her too much with all of this.  She may meet John and Rhoda; and I would love for her to meet Jim Johnson here in Grass Valley (I spoke with him recently).   Tell Jim Langford hello for me;  I always enjoyed his way of thinking, and some good communication.
I can't continue to live under the feeling of being a "low-life" around these people.  I know I have the Power of The Holy Spirit living in me.
By the way, Melanie is my only child speaking to me right now; and she really demonstrates "unconditional love".  I just got current pictures of her two girls, Shirlie and Coralie (who are just like my two when they were that age).  Just last year, my tenth and last grandchild was born with a slight downs syndrome.  He is cute and smart, and he stopped all of them from "poking fun at others".  All of a sudden their "perfect world", was not so perfect anymore.
I am thinking that when Patty meets you and Judy, she will be able to simply put all of what she knows in a proper perspective.  And believe me, I really appreciate your insight and help.
Keep me posted on Jim Langford's study.
If you recall, I left home back in 1987, for about 7 months; wanted to get away from the "beatings" of crude leadership (and some of that authority was coming from Robert, Keith Gardner (what a "work of art" he is), and Weyman, who never has the final say on things.
I may call you one evening; we are burried in Real Estate School for Patty, and we're thinking of a brief visit to somewhere warm like Costa Rica.
A visit to Oregon by next August (if not before), will be exciting.  I look forward to seeing you, my brother.
In the Love of Jesus Christ, or Savior, Paul White

e:mail received by Alan Hemenway 11/03/2004

Thanks for all the info; it gives me a sense of relief that I can "pick up the pieces" and ask the Lord to give me strength to go on.
Can you shed some light on Don and Lu Carol Stevens?  (My daughter Cynthia was saved at age 7 while spending the weekend there).  What caused his marking.
It seems RAG has an uncanny way of stripping the life away of the ones he targets.
Your brother Paul

e:mail received by Alan Hemenway 11/06/2004

Brother Alan,
Thanks for the information.  I am just trying to understand more, to have the wisdom to move on, in unconditional love. 
I have encountered a few two-faced people in the area; namely Mark Bowin (Dave Bowin's son), and Joe Bietzel who is Jim's twin brother.
Ones that "should be marked", know how to play the game.
I do not know how the meeting went, but I know many were there.  I am staying away until my final court date on 11/17.
Pray for our future victory in the Lord;  we want to live for Him, and encourage others.
In Christ, Paul

e:mail received by Alan Hemenway 11/23/2004

Alan, I am grateful for your thoughtfulness and prayers, and all of the updates.
Patty and I are real busy; she works at night and I am back to work at a large Ford Dealership temporarily.  I shall get full Soc Security in a year, so we could do Real Estate, or hopefully open a Real Food Deli (Raw foods and Natural supplements).  She is energetic and ambitious; and this is keeping me healthier than ever. 
I do need to make some decisions about future fellowship.  We even have thoughts of visiting some sincere Christians in Costa Rica.  We both like living in a warm place during the winter.
Mainly, we want to "wait on the Lord", for our direction and understanding.
In Christ, Paul

e:mail received by Alan Hemenway 12/15/2004

I wish I could re-live most of my life; it would be so different.  I realize for the first time that Marriage is a Covenant (stronger than a contract).  I never had a wedding ceremony, just a judge performed it in a hurry, before we slept together.
I often think that I would like to take her dad to task for ruining our lives (the anger, and deep-seated hurts). 
My marriage dissolution is not final as yet, because of the Judge's indecision regarding alimony.  I am unable to perform as ususual for income even to pay my bills.
Lord willing, Patty and I will be married soon.  And we may retire ($1,700 Social Security) in Costa Rica, and open a Health business there (Small health food store, supplements, Sugarless Deli, and Massage, as well as internet wireless hook-up).  I can also sell real estate there (as it is an independent free country).
Pray for our endeavors.  We both want to serve the Lord sincerely, and this could be a missionary retirement.
Thanks for all of your up-dates.  Your Discussion Board postings are far reaching, I believe.
In Christ, brother Paul

e:mail received by Alan Hemenway 12/22/2004

Thanks brother,
Is there a possible way to get an entire list of all "Marked" ones over the past twenty years (including my own in-laws)?
My wedding is postponed due to continued delays and pressure for alimony settlement.
In Christ, Paul

e:mail received by Alan Hemenway 12/25/2004

The Spiritual Unity of Believers in Our Lord Jesus Christ

[1]  There is a “daily-ness” to our walk with Christ, we have to choose to abide in Christ.  It’s not something that happens automatically, and we can lose connection with our head ( Col 2:19 and not holding fast to the Head, from whom all the body, nourished and knit together by joints and ligaments, grows with the increase that is from God.).  Not a loss of salvation, but a loss of that intimate connection to the Vine through which we receive His life.  Every morning we bring our lives fully back to Christ and under His Lordship.  It’s important that we consecrate our whole being to Christ – our body (Ro 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.), our soul (Lu 10:27 So he answered and said," 'You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,' and 'your neighbor as yourself.'") and your spirit (1Co 6:17 But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.)

[2]  1Jo 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

 [3]  Eph 1:4 just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love

 [4]  Ro 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

 [5]  By entering into the work of Christ daily, we appropriate in a fresh way all He has already done for us.  After all, Christ told us to take up our cross daily (Lu 9:23 Then He said to them all, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.)

 [6]  1Co 1:30 But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God--and righteousness and sanctification and redemption--

[7]  Col 2:13 And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses

[8] 2Co 5:21 For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

[9]  Col 2:10 and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.

 [10] Col 2:14 having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.

[11] Col 3:1 If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God.

[12] Eph 2:6 and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus

 [13] Lu 10:19 "Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

 [14] Eph 1:13 In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise

[15] Mt 20:28 "just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."

 [16] Col 2:11 In Him you were also circumcised with the circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the sins of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ

 [17] Ro 2:29 but he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that of the heart, in the Spirit, not in the letter; whose praise is not from men but from God.

[18] Col 2:15 Having disarmed principalities and powers, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it.

[19] Ro 6:11 Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

[20] Ga 6:14 But God forbid that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

 [21] Col 1:13 He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love

[22] Eph 4:22-24 that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.

 [23] Ro 6:11 Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

[24] Ga 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

[25] Eph 2:5 even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved)

 [26] Ro 5:17 For if by the one man's offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.)

[27] Ro 6:4 Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

[28] Col 3:4 When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.

[29] Php 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

 [30] Joh 12:31-32 "Now is the judgment of this world; now the ruler of this world will be cast out.  "And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all peoples to Myself."

[31] Mt 28:18 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth.”

[32] Col 2:10 and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.

 [33] 1Jo 4:4 You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

 [34] Lu 10:19 "Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

 [35] Joh 14:16 "And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever--  17 "the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.

 [36] Joh 15:26 "But when the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me.

 [37] Joh 16:13 "However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.

 [38] Ga 5:25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

 [39] Eph 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ

[40] Eph 4:8 Therefore He says: "When He ascended on high, He led captivity captive, And gave gifts to men."

 [41] Eph 6:9 And you, masters, do the same things to them, giving up threatening, knowing that your own Master also is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him.

 10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.

 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

 14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness,

 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.

 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;

 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints--

 [42] Heb 1:12 Like a cloak You will fold them up, And they will be changed. But You are the same, And Your years will not fail."

 13 But to which of the angels has He ever said: "Sit at My right hand, Till I make Your enemies Your footstool"?

 14 Are they not all ministering spirits sent forth to minister for those who will inherit salvation?

 [43] 2Co 1:8 For we do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, of our trouble which came to us in Asia : that we were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life.

 9 Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead,

 10 who delivered us from so great a death, and does deliver us; in whom we trust that He will still deliver us,

 11 you also helping together in prayer for us, that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the gift granted to us through many.

 2Co 1:12 For our boasting is this: the testimony of our conscience that we conducted ourselves in the world in simplicity and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom but by the grace of God, and more abundantly toward you.

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